::: Cheap Therapy :::

2.18.2005

I would like someone to be interested in my life. Someone that would like to hear what I have to say and go where I go, someone that looks up to me and values my opinion. Of course I am speaking of someone of the female persuasion. It would be all for not if I couldn’t have sex and be admired for it, well, maybe not ‘admired’ but more like enjoyed and appreciated. Of course, I know it’s not all about sex, but come on; I’m a male and there are only three things that males really need: Food, Sleep, and Sex. (It is what keeps our spirit alive.) I have noticed through the ‘dry’ months of not getting any tang, I begin to get really moody and short tempered. My patients grow thin and I begin to feel really emotionally low. It’s like getting a feeling all over that you just worthless and no one wants you. I know it’s probably a psychological thing but sometimes, when you get in that bad funk, it’s tough to see the brighter side of the situation. Like when I have an outbreak of herpes, I feel like I am on ‘the rag’ so-to-speak. I am moody, and tired and don’t want to take any shit from anyone. I think it really sucks that I ended up with herpes after sleeping with a stripper, but you know what they say; “Once you make your bed, you have to lay in it.” It’s not like I was a promiscuous gigolo, in fact through my younger years, I had a hard time trying to get any girl to shack up with me. (Probably because of the fear of pregnancy, but having pizza face, being a big nerd, and not popular at all didn’t help either.) I often think about my past ‘relations’.
The first girl I kissed, her name was Jenny Swinson, and she lived in Indian Trail. We were at her birthday party and we snuck behind the house and we swapped spit for only a few seconds before we both ran off in embarrassment.


Pernille before prom...

It was a few years after that; I was a junior, when I met Pernille. She was a foreign exchange student from Copenhagen and staying with the principle. I would drive her home (to the principles house) after school and we would usually make out for a few hours before he would get there. After a few months of heavy petting, we went to a party in Indian Trail and we both drank a little too much. We then got in my 1978 baby blue Metallic Plymouth Volare’ (with baby blue pleather interior) to find a ‘spot’ to get our groove on. I must have driven for about 45 minutes until we both just couldn’t stand it any more. I pulled into this dark gravel parking lot and stumbled out of the car with a towel in my hand. Pernille mentioned that she wanted to ‘do it under the stars’, so I lay down the towel on the gravel. I was so excited and scared about having sex for the first time; I didn’t even mind the gravel grinding into my elbows and knees. I can still remember like it was yesterday how it felt. I can remember putting it in slowly and thinking to myself; “Oh my god, this is wet and slimy and disgusting!” I don’t really remember how long it lasted, but after that night Pernille and I started fucking like rabbits. After the 3rd or 4th time, I began to like having sex; it was exciting doing something you weren’t supposed to, especially in the principles house. The school year began to come to a close and I took Pernille to my junior prom, and of course we fucked like rabbits. When summer came, she went back to Denmark, and I have never seen her since, not even a postcard, but the damage has already been done. I had lost my virginity and I was over come by sexual urges and thoughts.


Liz Warner

My best friend, since my age was in the single digits, Patrick Tally but he was always a trouble maker; he was the kid in the neighborhood that all the parents didn’t want their children hanging out with because they usually got into trouble. One day, since I was the only one of our friends with a car, he wanted to skip school to go see his sick girlfriend. So we ditched class and we took a little field trip to his girls’ house. I can remember standing in her kitchen watching them all over each other while she sat on the counter and he stood in front of her, bored out of my mind. We finally left and Patrick and I went home. After a few weeks, I just happened to be riding through that girls’ neighborhood, so I figured I would ride by her house. I crept across the pavement to find her mowing the front lawn, to my surprise. I stopped for a moment at the front of the house starring at this beautiful creature dressed in super short cut off jean shorts and a loose halter top glistening all over in sweat. She noticed my stare, shut off the mower, and slowly walked over to the car. It was like a bad porn flick. Summer sun shimmering off her skin, clothes sticking to her sweaty body; it seemed that time was moving in slow motion as she approached the car. We spoke for a few minutes, just chatter, nothing important when she told me that she liked me much better than Patrick. That sparked interest in my eyes and the pursuit was on, disregard of Patrick and our friendship. She broke up with him which, of course, ended our friendship when Elizabeth Warner and I began to date. Liz and I were very sexually compatible. We screwed just about every second we could, I can remember on many occasions when I would skip 5th period and pick her up after school to fuck her brains out on the den floor of her parent’s house. There were a couple particular times when we didn’t exactly time our sessions very well, and we got walking in on a few times. One particular time involved a chase through the house and ended when I jumped off their 2nd story balcony to make it to my car. Needless to say, I didn’t make it off the property without getting caught which resulted in a lecture from both sets of parents and even my Uncle. Liz and I hated our home lives and decided to run away together the day after high school graduation. We lived in Memphis for about two years; but with most things as a teenager, it didn’t last and we went our separate ways. I paid for a bus ticket for her to move back to Charlotte and mailed her most of her things, and that was that.



Tonya Reese

While living in Memphis, of course we met new people and made new friends, but one person in particular I really connected with. After Liz went back to Charlotte, I began to spend a lot of time with one of her best friends at the time, Tonja Reese. She was much older than Liz and had a much more creative and free spirit. I would probably consider Tonja my first love, but of course, things didn’t work out for several reasons and we lost touch for a while. About a year later I caught up with her on the phone, I was living in Charlotte at this time, and I found out that she had gotten back with her ex after we split and she had a little boy, Devron. Now, I am not much for children. Not that I hate children, I am just glad when they get to go home with someone else because after a while they tend to wear my nerves thin. We tried to work things out again, but she wanted to fallow her career (Native American Anthropologist) by moving near Denver Colorado, and I was not willing to make such a sacrifice at such a young age. So I decided to stay in Charlotte and go to college for Graphic Arts and Design at Central Piedmont Community College. (Not exactly my first choice for a place to get a degree, but I had been out of school for about two years and my GPA from high school was not exactly Harvard material.)



Lisa Dickson

My few years in college were great, I met so many new people and really began to realize that all the reticule and suffering (for being artistically talented and kept to myself socially) that I endured in high school was irrelevant in the real world. When I started my art classes that is when I met Lisa Dickson. At first I didn’t know what to think of her. She was very sporadic and couldn’t keep a thought in her head for longer than two minutes. She was much older than I, so I was a little weary of perusing her. I also met Blair McCutcheon. She wasn’t into art, but into music. She was a good-ol’ girl from Monroe (redneck-ville), and was pregnant when we met. We started to date which was a little weird considering the pregnancy. Things were going great with Blair except the sex. Their wasn’t any. We always had fun together, but no sex. One day, in art class, was an opportunity to go to the Nations capital (Washington, D.C.) to visit the museums and experience the culture. It was a great excuse to get out of class and get credit for it. As soon as I sat down on the bus, I noticed Lisa across the row. We made eye contact and without saying a word, she moved to the seat next to me. We must have talked all the way up to D.C., and when we arrived, we made sure that we could be paired up to make the most of the trip together. The first night, we both snuck out of our rooms for a little midnight rendezvous. We stayed in D.C. for a week and Lisa and I didn’t leave each others side. Of course, we slept together and even got walked in on by one of our fellow classmates. We eventually made it back to Charlotte and life rolled on as the way we left it, but I felt obligated to tell Blair that we couldn’t see each other anymore (Blair not being pregnant by this time.) Lisa and I hung out at school and even went to the beach together, and that’s when I noticed how self conscious she was. Lisa had a beautiful body, but a little neurotic from ADHD and took Paxil for it. The Paxil made her pick at her zits and razor burn on her legs, then pick at the scabs that would form. Needless to say, it was a vicious cycle, and that was pretty much the reason why I couldn’t be with her anymore.


Cheryl Rutter

A few months later, I started my second year at CPCC and met Cheryl Rutter, a 4 ½ foot red haired bundle of spunk. She had a son, 3 years old at the time, and lived with her parents while she went to CPCC for Industrial Design. At this time, I was living on my own in a hole-in-the-wall apartment with some of my college buddies, working at a strip joint as a manager, staying out late, doing drugs, running with the bad crown so-to-speak. Cheryl and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other for longer than 15 minutes. Unfortunately, her main concern was me, not her son. Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked having the total attention of this hot little girl wanting to be in my pants 24/7, but that little voice in my head said that it just wasn’t fair to her child. We were off and on for a while, and seeing as I was working at a male burlesque club and a titty-bar across the hall, new connections were always available. Unfortunately, I had a one-night stand with this stripper, called Sky, during one of Cheryl and I break. The fresh piece was nice, but it didn’t come without consequences, Sky was nice enough to give me Herpes, which of course didn’t actually present itself until Cheryl and I got back together and I gave it to her. I was mortified that I had given this incurable disease to someone else. Cheryl and I broke things off and got back together a few times after that until she decided she wanted to move to Pittsburg to further her studies. When I asked her what she was going to do with her son, she said that her son was going to stay in Charlotte with her ill tempered parents. I didn’t want to move to Pittsburg and I definitely didn’t like the fact that she was leaving her son here either, so that was that. She went up north and I stayed here in Charlotte.


'Sky'

Life rolled on and I cleaned up my act from working at the strip club. Of course I tried to rekindle some old flames through out the months. Liz ended up having two kids by two different men, Tonja and Devron still live in Memphis from the last that I heard. She said that she was thinking of getting back together with her ex (the father). Cheryl is still living in Pittsburg and her son is here in Charlotte. She found some young guy that has herpes also. She came to visit over Christmas and we had a few drinks together. She was all over me kissing and touching places that an engaged woman shouldn’t be. She kept saying that she couldn’t help herself as I pushed her off of me. She said she told her fiancé and he was understanding. (Once a slut always a slut, I guess.) Of course I tried several other options, like Yahoo Personals for example. I went out on a few dates, and even dated this girl from South Africa for a while, but nothing solid came of it (Cultural differences…). Lisa Dickson is actually the only one still around. She went through this major life change by quitting smoking, no more carbonated drinks, and no more Paxil. It possible is the best thing that has ever happened to her. She has stopped picking at her legs and face, she is on time (mostly), and she seems to be able to concentrate on things a little better. She comes over from time to time to play video games and even sat in on one a Dungeons & Dragons game that some of my friends and I started. As the years have passed, time has been good to Lisa; she has gotten more and more attractive with each passing year. In D.C. she had hair down to her back, now it is in a bob and looks a lot better. Not to mention her insatiable body. No matter how many nice things I can say about Lisa, the fact of the matter is that she will always have some sort of mental condition, and I don’t think that I really can deal with that on a long term basis.

March, 2005


Jennifer Porta

I met a new girl about a month ago. We have had some wild times together, and that was only in the first two weeks. She is the first married girl that I really have ever perused in a relationship, and thank god she doesn’t have kids. Her nickname is “4.11”, given to her because of her height. She has been married for over three years, and been with this guy for eight. He has always been a violent character and it was just a matter of time until he raised his hand to her head one too many times until she began to realize that he was not the one for her. It is too soon to say how this story will play out; how will Jennifer ‘Braun’ Porta resolve her situation with her husband? I know she wants to leave him, but will past feelings and poor decisions get in the way from a clean break? Will home sick feelings push her back home to New Jersey? I can’t tell at this point, but there have been arrangements made and there are bills to pay, regardless of joblessness. She is living with me, and paying most of my bills. It was definitely a scary decision, but one well worth making. It has been a long time since I have lived with a woman, but never as enjoyable as with Jenny. She is clean, she can cook, and she has an unquenchable thirst for sex. She currently works as an accounts administrator at a concrete firm, and also hosts all-female sex toy parties in the evenings about once a week. It’s a comfortable position to be in having a vixen in the sheets, even though her ring that sits on my bedside-table sits true to it’s meaning. It is too soon to tell what path she will take, but I know deep down in my heart it would be well worth my wild to hang on for deal life.

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