I believe that one human’s opinion is for his own, and not to be intended as a guideline for all others to follow. Now that’s out, let me begin...
Boys will be boys. I am a boy at heart in a growing man’s body. I require someone that I can love as someone to look up to, but also help in a way. Someone that has goals in this crazy insane world, and strives for them every day. Working closer and closer throughout life toward her own happiness, but also wanting something more. I need a woman, not a girl. A woman that has respect for herself and her path in life. A woman that can sit at home, watch movies in a t-shirt and boxers, as well as painting the town red in a pair of high heels and an elegantly sexy dress. Someone that a have fun dancing in the dining room to going to a nightclub and cutting loose. A woman with confidence, but not conceded. Someone that knows what she’s got and knows how to use it, but has enough respect to not let it flaunt. A woman that is down to earth and looks upward toward the stars.
No lies, no bible beaters, no alcoholics, no drug addicts, but someone that has been in those situations. Someone that has had been lied to, or had drug and alcoholic experiences, but also knows that it is a part of their past and no room for it in the future. (Within moderation... and there is always an exception to the rule) Too many people today take things too literally or assume too quickly. I want a woman that can analyze a situation, to see what is going on or being said before stepping forth. Someone that stands by what she says, but is always yearning for knowledge and new possibilities.
Most importantly, the ability to laugh. The ability to look at life straight in the face when she's at her lowest, and laugh. To have compassion for someone that trips and helps he or she up, but be able to laugh at the situation. Be able to laugh if she were in that situation, and be able to get up and continue on with stride.
I don’t know what love is, but I would imagine it’s the feeling you get when listening to a ballad by Frank Sinatra. The way his voice swings and sways with every vowel and consonant. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach every time you meet or talk on the phone. The feeling of anxiety, adrenaline pumping and passion coursing through your veins every time your skin touches hers. Dizziness and utter bliss with every kiss. Not many words can be put to what I am trying to say. All I know, I have asked countless people what love is and they all respond with “You will know it.” I guess my biggest question is when? When will I ever be able to look into my lover’s eyes with love, devotion and passion as I grasp her in my arms? Holding her tightly. Looking into her never ending eyes, as she looks into mine, and know that this is forever.
The woman I’m looking for has passion. I am a hopeless romantic, and in that sense, I try to make my woman feel special and important. I need a woman to do the same. A woman that can appreciate the small things that I may do, (emphasis on “may”) and of course, spontaneity! I want to be able to come home and have a nice surprise for me waiting on the couch in nothing but an oversized man’s dress shirt. Being at work and having her drop off her panties in my hands in a short skirt as a tease to what’s to come. Creeping into the shower in the morning with me as I get ready for work. Taking a long walk in the mountains to a lagoon and dropping all clothes for a mid-afternoon skinny dip. I can go on and on about the countless fantasies, but they all are nothing without confidence. A woman must feel confident enough about her body. I see a woman as a fine work of art. With never ending curves, compassion, and a touch like a breeze on a hot summer day. No woman can possibly understand the feelings I'm filled with when I look upon a beautiful figure of Eden. Never the less, no man can possibly understand how self conscious a woman can be about her body. Every time she looks in the mirror, she critiques herself to every detail. No woman can pass a mirror without thinking about it and no man can pass by a Victoria Secret’s ad without taking time to appreciate it. But it’s not all about looks. Not every man thinks that Cindy Crawford is attractive. Some like bigger woman and some like skinnier women, but it’s all about the same...the search to be desired and to desire someone.
I value three major things in my life right now; my car, my computer, and my family.
First would be my car. There is nothing like the feeling I get as I hear the leather on the steering wheel buckle as I grasp onto it with both hands with knuckle-whitening pressure. Hearing the engine roar as I come up to a 90 degree turn screaming at 80mph listening to the gears downshift and the break being applied and the tires screech as the weight of the car shifts when going through the apex of the turn. Hitting the Gas and hearing the beast unleashed from within the hood, and feeling the rush as the car straightens when coming out of the turn only to realize that there is another at the bottom of the hill. I need a woman that loves watching a man; covered in grease, work on his car on a hot summer afternoon. I need a woman that looks at cars as works of art, as do I feel about my car from the countless hours of blood and sweat poured all over the engine from modification after modification to try to turn tighter and go faster. (With all performance vehicles, safety is always the key. In no way is it my intentions to hurt others or myself on the road around me. So if you see me coming up behind you and flash my lights, slow down so I can pass or move to the next lane. It is always my responsibility to deal with the officer that pulls me over for speeding, rather than dealing with the officer about a collision because you felt it was necessary to take the law in your own hands....)
Second would have to be love for computers. I see computers as an infinite gateway for information. Almost all the information taught in any collage around the world can be found through a computer. Anything you can possibly imagine can be accomplished with a computer. As our society grows and technology develops, computers have become more and more of everyday life, and if you don’t know anything about computers by now, you are left in the dark. I need a woman that knows what an OS is, and what a gigabyte is. Imagination is the key. A computer can help you realize whatever your imagination can fathom. I need a woman with inspiration and creativity. Someone that looks at the world in a completely different way, but also stays positive about it and knows how to utilize a computer to help her reach her goals.
Most important of all, my family. Without them, I would not be here. May the spirits always watch out for them...protect them...and help them along in their journey throughout life.
Character and Personality
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-Copyright © 1999-2001 Astrocenter.com, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
The following paragraphs concern the study of Matt's personality, as induced by the positions of the planets and Rising sign. Some of the character traits mentioned may seem completely contradictory and incompatible. This is because the rough-hewn personality is a rarity. Usually, individuals are made up of a subtle orchestration of many different tones or aspects. However, serious introspection or detailed analysis should make it possible to distinguish the opposing or diverging images comprising Matt's overall character, and perhaps, in time, find the best and most harmonious way to integrate them.
The specificity of Matt's personality can be summed up by his nostalgic yearning for his roots - a “paradise lost “which is also a source of energy and vitality. Matt's power is linked to memory: he inhabits a present which draws sustenance from the past, from continuity and timelessness. The power of memory can either be dynamic or static, however. The consciousness of an inaccessible past can either immobilize him in melancholy and nostalgia, or shine as an ideal which motivates him to recreate a new harmony. His refuge, his obsession with it may be such that his progress is impeded. If, on the contrary, he thinks of it as a starting point or launching pad for his comprehension of the human condition, he will integrate it into his self-realization process. Matt possesses a potential for great maturation and wisdom. He is relatively slow-moving, and may feel protected from the outer world by an armor of education, family surroundings (his most cherished environment), and social status. For this reason, he tends to limit the scope of his activities to a single well-defined sphere, and, within the boundaries he has established, releases the entire spectrum of his rich and varied emotional expression. Sometimes he may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of situations which will introduce him to unfamiliar factors and elements; he sees them as intrusions. Before he judges an event, a person, or a thing, he attempts to absorb it into his private universe. Of a fairly subjective and introverted turn of mind, he defines everything in terms of the sensation it arouses in him as his consciousness embraces it. This predominance of sensation gives him extreme sensory finesse: his perceptions are intense, keen, penetrating right to the heart of people and things. His imagination, which is a function of his perceptions, is also lively, colorful, and prolific. Because he is sometimes self-centered, attentive to and protective of his inner self, he may tend to withdraw into his shell when he encounters an aggression from the outer world. As a result, he may sometimes become distant and secretive. His tendency to be rather short-tempered and easily offended, a classic flaw, is also the consequence of his need for protection and security. Despite his sensitivity, and his ability to be genuinely virtuous, Matt is not always gentle. His outbreaks of hostility are all the
more wounding because of their rarity. However, more than aggressiveness, Matt's stubbornness, slow insistence, and undying determination are the extremes which may complicate his life. Once again, the family setting is vitally important to him. His attachment to his family in general and his mother in particular is deep. The way he resolves (or has resolved) the transition to adulthood and independence will be crucial to his well-being, both in terms of his inner harmony (the sensation and sensitivity which comprise his identity) and in terms of his relationships with women.
Matt wants to wield power and enjoy social prestige. He feels quite at home in the modern world others find frightening.
Matt tends to live in an imaginary world; the distant and abstract sometimes interests him more than what is right at hand and realistic.
At the time of Matt's birth, both his Rising Sign and Sun Sign were located in the constellation of Cancer (the Crab). This alignment will probably yield certain cohesiveness for his personality. A summary of the various clues mentioned above provide Matt's personality profile; the following key words distill the essence of his character and indicate certain contradictions which may be sources of tension:
Sensitivity - Imagination - Eccentricity - Savings and thrift - Suspicion - Obstinacy - Premonition.
Driven by his extreme sensitivity, Matt is likely to form intense and lasting emotional bonds. He has a great appetite for love, esteem, and appreciation. His sense of personal dignity and his jealousy sometimes confuse honor with dignity; as a result, he is simultaneously short-tempered and conciliating, possessive yet impressionable. Naturally reserved and even wary of others, he will not surrender to his partner until after he has tested her patience to the limits. Once he is certain he is safe, however, he will form an exclusive and lifelong bond. Nevertheless, he will always be easily offended. Everything related to the family, children, heritage, religious ritual and custom, sentiment, and honor will be sacred to this conformist. His determination will be forged by an instinct for preservation and respect for history. He avoids confronting obstacles face-to-face, preferring to deal with them by means of a strategy elaborated well in advance. If a crisis arises unexpectedly, he is likely to take cover until it passes. However, his problem-solving techniques are notable for their tireless persistence and seemingly infinite patience. His success will be due to his stubbornness.
Born in the three-and-one-half days after the Full Moon rose, Matt is said to be a "Full Moon” lunar type. This "soli-lunar" configuration gives him an objective, rational, and lucid character. However, since the Moon is opposite the Sun at the time of the Full Moon, his objective tendencies are balanced by a more idealistic penchant. Because the forces pull him in two different ways - one towards dreams, the other towards reality - he may be aware of some inner contradictions which are causing practical and social difficulties for him. At times, he is too demanding of himself or others, comparing them to an ideal, whereas at others, he is too nonchalant and indulgent about life. He vacillates between two poles. One is elitist, and almost snobbish; the other is more earthy, and perhaps vulgar or brutal at times. The result is a multi-faceted self. Generally speaking, his monthly energy flow is strongest at the time of the Full Moon. He would be wise to schedule intensive work phases at that time, as well as ambitious and demanding projects.
Warm and affable, Matt is animated by honesty and generosity. Due to the solar dominant of his birth chart, his father (or a man who served as a father figure, possibly a teacher) influenced him strongly and imprinted him with the positive values which are now at the core of his being. However, his perception and comprehension of the world are filtered through an innate ability for artistic discrimination: a sense of aesthetics. For him, “beauty " is “truth” - and not vice-versa. Style and harmony, and the skills involved with putting things on display, such as artistic representation, light, and transparence, are concepts which come naturally to him, and he makes use of them in his life.
-http://www.astrocenter.com/
-Copyright © 1999-2001 Astrocenter.com, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
I am a realist. I realize that the world if full of crazy people, or that perhaps I’m the crazy one and everyone else is normal. Every person plays their cards very carefully throughout life in hope that it will always turn out for the better. I’m looking for a woman that knows how to play the game. The game of life. I see life as very difficult, but I have a tendency to see the good things that life brings me. A chocolate-chip cookie, a five-minute cigarette, or an ice Cold beer after a long day is the closest most people get to paradise. I want more out of life. I want to sit on an exotic island in ten years, with the love of my life lying beside me watching the sun set. I want someone to walk that path with me. I want someone that can go with me to reach my goals as well as hers. Someone that encourage me to better myself throughout life and always has a passion to better herself as a person.
I have learned allot in my life, and most of that time was used anticipating what a woman will do next. After years and years of analyzing women, it has just about taken all the mystery out of it all. I have always had a gift of being able to read people, watching how they react to things and the way they move and carry themselves. Compiling novels of information at a time, just by watching a woman walk down the street of drink a cup of coffee. I need a woman that has that gift to. A woman that can read me. Even though I may not say exactly what I mean, she needs to be able to take the expressions and gestures I use to make a good conclusion to what exactly is going on in my head. With most men, we know what we want to say, but just don’t know how to say it. Unfortunately, because of the years of compiling information, I have a tendency to use that to my advantage to get what I want. I guess it would be the same as a woman flirting with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket. I need a woman that can realize what I’m trying to do and turn that around. I can be pretty stubborn sometimes, but if I’m caught in a corner, I begin to see the error in my ways (if I am wrong). After a woman has showed me that we are equals in playing the game of life, I stop trying to play tricks to get what I want and the real me comes out. Patients! Patients are a very valuable personality attribute. Like I said, I am very hard headed and I need a woman that can look past all that and see what’s inside and not the shell. Unfortunately, that takes time, unless you can see through the outer shell and take me for whom I really am.
The following contains sexual content. If any such material offends you, you shouldn't be reading this in the first place.
Sex. What can I say about it? We all know what it is, and we all know what nature intended for it to produce . . . Children. As I was growing up, my parents never came to me and had the “birds and the bees” talk. Instead they had decided that an hour class in middle school was sufficient information to know about intercourse. As we all sat there and talked about the male and female anatomy (the male being very descriptive and precise, and the female being describe as a mythical wonder that they hold between their legs where strange monthly cycles occur and where all the sperm swim like trout up stream . . ..) {Sorry for the fish reference, ladies} A class for an hour didn’t even answer one of my questions about sex. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know specifics. (Now . . . When I went to high school, homosexuals were not as prominent as they are today. In fact, I can’t even recall a gay man openly admitting it in high school. As for lesbians, well . . . that was on all the minds of men
back then as it is now.) So my desire to fill my brain with as much information on the subject of sex grew and grew. I started to find myself hanging out more in the “Self-Help” section of the bookstore more and more, consuming picture after picture and word after word. Couples books I read on everything from tartaric and techniques to pleasure points and positions. Anything and everything, you name it. As I got older the Internet was developed, and that opened up the gates of information to my database. For years I searched and read thousands and thousands of pages. For a short time, I worked at a strip club, as a Waiter and a then a DJ. Working as a disk jockey for an adult entertainment establishment opened my eyes to a real life. To allot of things I never would have seen or realized in such a short amount of time. As I prepared music overnight, I would often spend time with the girls before the show. They would often talk about their previous night’s sexual excursion and I would listen and laugh with them. After time, that gave me the most important tool that I could ever have to my learning journey, the female psyche. For months I probed their minds for likes and dislikes to help me be able to see everything from a females prospective, and then analyze their beautiful bodies glimmer beneath the rays of light bursting from above. I began to see the female body as a work of art. The way that hips swing naturally back and forth when a woman in high heels slowly walks away as if to taunt any man who gaze upon it. The way a woman can look at you for a split second, but it seems an eternity to your heart as it stops beating. Needless to say, I was obsessed. I wanted to know every curve and every possible personality trait in every woman. Well, if you haven’t figured out by now, sex is important to me. It’s not the act of sex, more like the passion and feelings shared between two people. I think it is beautiful feelings when you hold the one you love in your arms, feeling your skin brush against hers while the candle light dances around the room. It almost has a spiritual feeling when you are really in touch with the one you are with.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to get down and dirty too. Sometimes it’s good to just go driving on a cool night and pull into a quiet subdivision and rip each other’s clothes off. Taking no time with buttons or zippers, just tearing fabric from limb from limb. Pushing and grinding as the windows steam up in seconds from the passion. There is nothing like it. I think it is what makes me feel so alive. The woman I desire must have inspiration and spontaneity. She must feel confident about her body, but not arrogant. (Like for instance the picture above; an inquisitive, sneaky look with a minimal amount of clothes faintly lying upon her body as if a slight breeze could blow them off.) No jewelry! There is nothing worse than feeling a woman soft fingers until she grabs something and chunks of skin are pinched between her fingers from all the rings she has on. If we are getting naked, we are going to do it all the way.
Except piercing, of course. Those might come in handy . . . . .
Well, where do I start? I feel I know Matt just as well as any of his friends, if not better. We spend six very interesting months together, and to this day we are still close friends. I don’t think that I would be the person that I am today if I hadn’t met Matt. Although he probably doesn’t realize this, he helped me break down the walls I had built up for so long. He is a wonderful person. He is very sensitive and concerned about those around him. Sometimes I think he spends too much time sorting everyone else’s problems. Matt needs someone that will spend just as much time on him. He needs someone to nurture him and show him that his problems are just as important as everyone else’s. Also, Matt has qualities that a lot of women look for in a man. He loves spending quiet, romantic evenings with the person that he loves. He needs someone who is adventurous, yet can find enjoyment cuddling by a fire listening to music.
Sometimes Matt can be very imaginative. He’s been known to start a conversation on the most unusual ideas. You have to be quick on your feet because Matt can pick your brain for knowledge. He enjoys learning new things on interesting topics. He’s very intelligent, but it almost seems that he just can’t learn enough. He needs someone that can share his passion for understanding.
Matt also has a wild side. He is very confident and needs a woman who can hold her own. If he wants to go out on the town, his woman needs to be prepared. She shouldn’t be ashamed of her body, but willing to show off what she has. Matt would love for his lady to wear some sexy little evening gown for a romantic evening at a quiet restaurant. The type of dress that when she walks into the room, everyone stares and wonders who she is. She needs to feel confident about herself. Of course, the opposite side of Matt would be happy to see his woman lounging in a pair of boxers and a tee shirt.
Over the past three years I’ve seen Mat go from one horrible relationship to another. From am outsiders point of view it seemed that these “girls” weren’t able to realize how great they had it. It’s time for Matt to find that one woman that can appreciate him for who he really is.
“Buzybee” Age 24
Their are so many things I want to share in my life. Their are so many places I want to see and do, but I don’t want to do them alone. I want a woman that has a sense of adventure.
To be devoted and loving through thick and thin. I sometimes see myself as a character in a movie. The way a man and woman come together after impossible odds to live happily ever after. I know that real life doesn’t always work that way, but it would be nice to finally meet someone that understands what is going on. Too many times have I met girls that have no idea what is really going on in the world. Girls that think they have the world wrapped around their fingertips. Too many times I have met women that live in their own little world, oblivious that every person is their own. Some even think that if things are not done their way or if others do not see things from their point of view, they are wrong. Every human has his or her own soul and their own path to walk in this world, whether they choose that path or not.
I am the type of person that listens and evaluates the situation before stepping into the middle of it. I like to gather as much information about a subject or a conversation before involving myself. I need a woman that knows when the time is right to talk and the time to listen. I need a woman that is mature and has a good grasp on what life is all about. Most women I have met throughout the years, I have noticed that intelligence is optional. Not meaning that they are stupid, but more along the lines of inexperienced with reality. I am a realistic person. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that no one on this rock will give you anything on a silver platter; you have to work for it. Sometimes harder than others, but someone always wants something out of the deal. I need a woman that realizes this. A woman that knows that nothing comes for free, and is willing to work for what she wants. A woman that has faced hardships throughout her life, but doesn’t hold that against anyone. In realizing those hardships, she must be able to learn from them to make her a better person. To me, that’s what real intelligence is about. When a person can make a mistake, admit it, and learn from it. Intelligence is not how book smart you are, that just proves that you can memorize things you read very well. I see it as learning the basics of science and physics and taking that knowledge to develop the idea of gravitational pulls in our atmosphere. How Albert Einstein toyed around with thought of matter vs. energy. The way Steve Jobs and Bill Gates created the first motherboard in their garage. No man or woman on the planet had even thought at the time that computers would be used in almost everything we do today. Maybe in the future, we can use Einstein’s theories about matter vs. energy for interstellar travel as astronauts laugh at how people drove so long ago.
Well, what can I say? I don’t think that anything I possibly can write can define exactly what the type of woman I am searching for. All I know is that I’m searching for love, this Tomcat is ready to it hang up. I guess what it really comes down too is a feeling. The feeling of a warm spot within, somewhat like the warm feeling you get when your mother applies a cool wet cloth on your forehead when you are sick. A feeling you get when you know that the person that stands before you and will love you unconditionally. When you stand in the shower, or before you drift off to sleep, and you can feel the warmth and soft touch on your skin. It feels as if it literally “warms” your soul. Like a drive through the countryside on a mildly warm, clear day in spring.
It may seem that I am asking the impossible, but I assure you I am not.
I have met and dated only two I ever felt like I had an emotional bond with. The first woman (not naming any names) opened my eyes to the world. She showed me how beautiful even the most minuscule thing can be. How gentle the breeze can blow and bright the sun can shine. I felt things with her that I never knew were possible. We would talk all the time about everything and yet, nothing. Everything from astrophysics, to counting cars that would drive by. I can still to this day remember how soft her skin was. How visiting, one year around Christmas, we were shopping and baby-sitting all day. With the child passed out in my arms, I carried him to the bed and came downstairs in a semi consciousness. Passing out as if gravity had clutched my body and pulled it down onto the sofa, I soon felt a warm, soft hand on my forehead. Out of the last gleaming sights out of my eyes, was her face with a small loving grin. For six hours she lay there with me, as I was dormant. As I resurrected from my coma, she started to slowly drift asleep and I carefully carried her upstairs to bed. Never in my life had I slept that well in my entire life. The next day I wake with our arms entangled within each other’s. Unfortunately, she was determined and devoted to her career as she was devoted to me, but the career slowly began to become her life and livelihood. I can truly say, I will never forget her for as long as I live.
The second showed me her soul, and brought out the best in mine. I was filled with a renewed spirit. The warm full feeling in my heart soured me to the heavens above.
“Every day that has passed since a few months ago, a feeling of emptiness and distress has been filling my soul. As time ticked on, the feeling of despair grew and grew until depression and confusion consumed me. Wondering around from day to day, feeling like I have no real purpose in life, losing sight of what really matters to me. Never knowing if this sadness will ever end, I take a chance in life and love. I arrived at her house in suspense of what was to follow. Not knowing what to say, we left for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. The food was lacking in desire and the atmosphere quite contrary to the menu, as I sat across from her a blank came across my mind. Having so many questions to be answered and thoughts racing trough my mind, I was speechless. I could see that the silence was developing into an uncomfortable stare. I had to say something; I had to make the first move to break the silence. Nervousness ripped through me as I try to collect simple words together. Saved by the waitress asking us what we would like to drink, I responded and she was off like a flash. Back to the silence and an uncomfortable stare. Stumbling with "Umm" and "Uh", she asks me what this is all about. Confronting my feelings, I explain it all.
I began with the first time we met and the first time I gazed upon such a beautiful sight. The first time she spoke to me, my heart fluttered with anticipation with every word that she spoke. How months passed by, and hours of time at work we spend together laughing at each other's different perspectives on life. It has been a long time since we last spent those days together. It has been a long time since we have talked and laughed together. It has felt like an eternity since I last gazed upon this heavenly beauty. As abruptly as dinner had started, it ended with disappointment from us both.
Collecting my thought and anxiety, I turn the key to start the engine when I decided that the night was not over. I drove toward her house to take her home as I kept listening to her talk about days of the past. With a sly-ish smirk on my face, I passed her house and continued on to the freeway. Reminiscing about days gone by, we talked for hours as I just drove and drove. A fill-up at the gas station and over a hundred miles later, I found my love and I uncannily close to a hide-a-way I had gone to as a child. Talking a few twists and turns, we arrive at an open field and I direct my car into the brush. Opening the moon-roof to the millions of stars on a fairytale night, we slowly sank into our seats at the vast beauty above. For hours we spent gazing at the stars as the light danced across the sky. Captivated by the sky, a feeling of completeness came across me; a feeling of utter bliss and nirvana filled my soul. As if it were our destiny to be together, our lips met as a cosmic feeling fell over us. Grasping her and holding her in my arms seemed to be an eternity. Feeling her lips connect with mine filled me with such passion I have never felt before. As if we were meant together since the
beginning of time, my head spun and my mind raced. Nothing had prepared me for the full rush of passion and exciting anticipation that filled my body. Pulling away from her, and noticing she had felt the same, we began our journey back to her house.
Slowly and sly-ishly slipping into the driveway, I said my good-byes in the disappointment that the night had to come to an end. Holding her in my arms one last time for the night, I knew I would probably never see her again. Taking one last look at me, she exited the car, waved, and said our good-byes once more as she slowly walked out of my life and back to her husband.”
-M.J.
I was thinking the only way I am going to be able to think about what would be the perfect woman for Matt, is the think about the best woman for me. Just as long as I stay as honest as possible, I thought to myself what would I want keeping in mind that Matt is pretty much a carbon copy, just in a man’s form. To find a woman that would put up with me would be nothing short of a miracle. She would have to be strong mentally and physically, and of course attractive . . . Other good qualities people expect also come to mind.
Hair and eye color do not matter as long as everything is well kept, a good physic is important. She would of course have to be able to stand up for herself if she were ever be able to stand in a fight. I wouldn’t want to feel like I had to watch a baby or wuss.
My perfect woman would have to have an open and honest heart and mind. She would have to have the understanding of how my mind worked and my thoughts so she would never think that she was being manipulated. Matt and I are like the same person when it comes to getting what we want; we have manipulated people time and time again and know exactly what to do to get our way.
She would have to be able to change her attitude depending on if Matt wanted to cuddle or left alone, she would have to respect his wishes. She would also need to better than to be dominated like a piece of property. Although, every woman has the right to put her foot down in certain cases.
Last, but not least, she would have to be a complete freak in bed. Dominate one night, gentle and compassionate the next. Someone who has extreme talents and has spent time discovering and learning the arts of pleasure.
In the days of Matt and I deep depression, the woman would have to mend his mind, heart and help him become whole again. I hope that one day he will find his woman; she sweeps him off his feet and takes good care of him. Matt needs to be pampered and loved, but everyone does. I have seen his heart fade; I have seen the loneliness, depression, anger, and frustration. I know that he can’t continue on much more, the need of companionship has consumed him. I just hope it does not destroy him. I have been there and experienced a lot, which he has. One day I fill find my perfect man as he will find his woman.
“Raven” - age 24
As I entered the candle lit room, my heart pulsated with a desire and passion of temptation only accelerated by the sweet scent of light perfume that trickled through the air. My soul soaring at the sight of my angel calmly waiting in the room before me, she begins to slowly float across the room like an angel from heaven. Whispers of fabric glide along her soft skin as she passes through the candlelight, rippling around her body as though hanging on a thread. Stopping in my tracks, I gaze upon my beauty in contempt of this godly form in front of me. Feeling her loving arms slowly wrap around my body and soul, looking into her eyes are like looking into the far galaxies above as the light shimmers and dances across her eyes. Eyes so pure and free, the glimmering stars above seem to be captivated in their beauty; her skin brushing against mine reminding me of soft rose pedals on a warm spring morning. Caressing her in my arms, filling me with such completeness and joy, it warms my soul knowing that this myth of mine will be with me until the end of time. Our energy ignites like a fiery inferno as we embrace each other in this evening bliss. I wish I could be held in her soft touch for an eternity.
I wish it were actually like that. It almost sounds like a romance novel. Am I possibly going crazy over all this? Have analyzing women’s minds for so long I have actually started thinking like them? If I think like a woman does that mean I'm going insane? The fact of the matter is there is no one on this green earth that can tell what a woman is thinking, except for that woman.
Perhaps I have read too many books about relationships, anatomy, psychology, emotions, and karma sutra. Perhaps I have lost the ability to naturally be attracted to someone. After searching for so long and being abused by so many people over time, I am losing hope. I am afraid that this thirst for passion that lies deep within will never be quenched. I may roam the earth as some perverted old man with glaucoma that gives massages for quarters on the street and writes poetry. (Crazy as it may sound; it's a possibility.) I would become some famous sideshow freak for a couple of months and then off to the Jerry Springer Show to bitch about my mothers-brothers-dog's-friend slept with an alien or something. Fear is the one thing that has kept me going.
With every Yin there is a Yang. I can accept the nights of drunken stumble and holding my lovers' head with a wet rag as she "prays to the porcelain god", or the occasional fight and disagreement about trivial things, or the indecisiveness of what to wear for 2 hours before a date. I can even accept a woman's menstrual cycle; I know I've got to deal with things worse than that myself. I am willing to accept all the bad that may come with the good; it all comes down to if the bad out-weighs the good. No matter how bad a woman thinks she may have life, there is always someone that can out shine the rest. It seems that I am a magnet for the unusual. It seems that the only people that want to come around me have something wrong with them to add massive amounts of drama to my life. For example:
I dated one girl that was a kleptomaniac, not stealing from me, but stealing from all my friends and family. Perpetual liar, and not to mention sucking every last red cent I had in the bank. I moved * way across the country with her for two years.
Another would be someone with a chemical imbalance in her brain. She had to take one pill as an upper for ADHD and a downer for something else. That girl didn't know if she was coming or going. One time she showed up 2 days late for a date.
Not convinced yet? What about the android? I recently met this beautiful woman through some friends, who happened to be in my math class in collage. We went to a bar and shot some billiards, she didn't say a word. We went back to my place to watch a movie and she still said nothing. Thinking that she is having a bad time, I began to question her and she responds in a monotone voice that she is having a good time! There was nothing I could have said or done to get some emotional reaction out of her. I could have chopped off my arm and beat her with it, and she probably wouldn't get as much as a smirk on her face. With one extreme to another, the next girl dramatized everything. She would almost break down and cry if I didn't say hello to her or call her everyday. She acted like a 15-year-old that could drink; everything had such a dramatic impact on her life. I'm not really sure which is worse, a robot or a drama queen. No matter how many women I meet, no matter where they are from, it's always something new. There is always some hang-up, some part of their life that has changed them forever. Where are the normal women? I come from a small town in the country, with a loving family. Sometimes times were good and sometimes times were bad, and even through all these failed relationships or being walked all over just keep pounding on me like a brick wall; never once had it effected me to a point of insanity. Everything from working in a strip club to being an usher in church, nothing I have ever experienced traumatized me to the extent of all these women. Granted, I am very open-minded about everything and believe that anything is possible, but if I think that way, why can't there be any women that are like that? Why do they all have to have something wrong with them? I can't imagine anything that a woman could tell me that would surprise me, but being raped, as a child seems to be a popular one. I can understand that it would be very traumatizing type experience, but learn from it! Take some Kung Fu classes. Learn self-defense and move on. Do women really think that it impresses a guy, or that the guy will feel sorry for them? Most men just take it as a sign of emotional baggage and get as far away as possible. Basically what I'm saying is that I want an individual. Accepting the good with the bad, but the woman must also accept the downfalls of life.
Regardless of what may have happened to her in the past, she needs to be the type of woman to learn from those mistakes and move on. She needs to be the type to control her life, not let her life control her. Having a child is ok; just take responsibility for that child. Being late, or experiencing a life-threatening situation is ok, just take some responsibility for it and move on. It seems that most women today do nothing wrong (in their minds). They can do no wrong; it is always someone else's fault. "I fell asleep, but it's not my fault, it's the medication I'm taking." "I didn't steal the VCR! I just moved it into my room, under the bed (to take to the pawnshop).
Why are YOU accusing me?"
Now look, I know that everything just said does not apply to everyone. I know that the last few paragraphs have generalized women as a whole, but that is what is so confusing. How can so many women have so much in common, but it never is the same thing? For example: 9 out of 10 women might like to be kissed behind the ear, but that one person likes to be bitten. Now, let’s say a man begins to date one of the 9 and then goes out with that one person that likes to be bitten instead of kissed. No damage done, the woman would simply say "Bite me, don't kiss me!" Now, let's say the man then goes out with another woman, from that 9, he bites her on the neck, and he gets a stake through the heart because she thinks he is a vampire! (Men just can't win these days) There are always exceptions to the rules. Perhaps I truly am a magnet for the mentally dysfunctional.
It has been brought to my attention, by some of my loyal and trustworthy readers that I seem to be skipping over a certain subject. I have purposely been skipping over this subject due to the automatic assumption that most women think that men only care about looks. Even though personality is very important, looks are a very good way to compliment that. Unfortunately, for my own safety, I'm not going to put detailed descriptions of what a mature, passionate woman should look like. "Art is in the eye of the beholder." What I can do though, is to describe my preferences in a woman. Women, just as men, come in many different shapes and sizes. First let me put this picture in your mind:
You come in from a long day at work to find your husband sitting on the couch drinking a beer, watching some game show. As he sits there, digging at his crouch, you notice how much bigger and rounder his belly has gotten since you two tied the knot. Taking a disappointing stare at his lazy, fat ass laying about the furniture like a throw rug, he grumbles something about sticking "tab A" into "slot B" in rebuttal to your request for assistance with the groceries. Noticing the kitchen looks like a war zone, your "hubby" ask you to bring him another beer then mumbling once more about some gratuitous sex acts upon delivery of his nectar. The next thing you know, there is a full beer breaking the sound barrier toward his skull.
As much as a woman would hate to see that in real life, men are the same. I can appreciate a woman that takes pride in her appearance, and is confident about her appearance, but there is always a different line to draw for every different man in the world. I can't really say that I have a preference in specifics, such as breast size hips or pinpointed measurements, but I can say that I like to be able to wrap my arm around my girl. I like to feel her wrapped in one arm and covered by the other. Now I'm not talking about a twig, by any means, but I'm also not referencing a woman gifted in "curves". I guess the one thing that it comes to would have to be a woman being fit, and not having any folds. If I might be chasing you around the house snapping you with a towel, you have to keep ahead of me, and/or retaliate. I may like to sit around the house, but I usually am on my way in or out or cleaning something. Besides, I need someone to spar with, someone to practice Kung Fu with, and someone that can be athletic, cunning, and quick. (This sounds like an ARMY commercial) No, I'm not asking for any unusual strength like leaping over a building in a single bound, for an opening in the super hero division. Just the simple fact of taking care of one's self. Go out, drink, party, but always be aware that in some shape or form, you will have to pay for it in the later years of your life as your body becomes older and cannot heal as fast. Eating is very important. I actually have a very high metabolism and need to eat about 5 times a day just to stay and average weight. Just eat within your means, unlike my father. I have had to deal with excessive eating for all my life and I am seeing what it does to people, I don't suggest it.
What is it about women? It seems that some women need to get to know you better before they can date you; and others you have to date to get to know better. It almost seems like applying for a loan at a bank, pretty much every woman that I have met has the same generic story. Boy meets girl, girl waits two hours that night for him to call. Usually the guy doesn’t even know the girl is interested, let’s face it, guys have to be slapped across the head to get a subtle message. Most women think that men are all about sex, knowing that I can’t argue that there are a lot of men that fall in that category, there is a very large percent that looks for more than just a place to plug their power tool. Men and women are two completely different beings in some aspects. Women have a tendency to read into what a guy says, and the guy ends up doing the complete opposite. A woman will emotionally crave a man to kiss her, where a man would just jump on the chance. One thing about women that I have noticed: they have great intellect and powerful emotions. The only problem is that they cannot make any decision with both sides. Women usually make an instinctually emotional decision or a “well thought out” plan. Women also have a keen sense on detail. Women can remember things that happened a year ago, tell you what she was wearing that day, tell you what the weather was like, and even tell you about who was having a sale and traffic. It is almost unrealistic. Yet, women make irrational decisions at times, letting their emotions get the best of them. (Now, I’m not here to just pick on the ladies. We all know that men usually think with the wrong “head”.) For instance, a man asks a simple question about a woman day. I think that things would be much easier if women had some sort of sign to show what type of mood they are is, like a cobra rattle . . .
Women say all the time that they want men to conversate more. What they really mean is that they want men to just ask the right questions and listen so she can rage on with whatever is bothering her. Although, men have caught on through the years, and we all have figured out just to nod or heads. We usually say things like “No way!” or “what?” with a real surprised look on our face, and we always end it with “That no good bitch!” because 99% of the time, a woman is nagging about some other bitch at work.
Another good point would be who is a liar? Now their are huge differences in men and women telling lies. Men will tell little white lies to cover their ass when in a sling. Of course, we always have to tell another little white lie to cover up the first one, and it always falls through because we forget what we said the first lie was. Women on the other hand, go far and beyond the call of duty. A woman does not lie, a woman tells a fictional fantasy story with ulterior plots and an all-star cast when asked, “What did you do for lunch?” Women, with their bionic powers for details, will even call her friends to relay the story to help cover. A whole clan, telling the same sob story, knowing that every word of it is a lie.
Sometimes it feels that men and women are from two completely different planets. I prefer to think about it as just different humans. It does not matter if you are a man or woman, everyone will be treated equally if I can help it. Everyone should have all the same opportunities and discomforts; the major difference is how that person is affected by what happens to them. People need to realize that we all have been through the same shit, just different reactions. Some people can handle stress, and then their are the people that need therapy. It is that simple. The mind is very strong and can accomplish many things, but the only things it cannot control are the feelings of the heart. - - - - [Introduction End]
Boys will be boys. I am a boy at heart in a growing man’s body. I require someone that I can love as someone to look up to, but also help in a way. Someone that has goals in this crazy insane world, and strives for them every day. Working closer and closer throughout life toward her own happiness, but also wanting something more. I need a woman, not a girl. A woman that has respect for herself and her path in life. A woman that can sit at home, watch movies in a t-shirt and boxers, as well as painting the town red in a pair of high heels and an elegantly sexy dress. Someone that a have fun dancing in the dining room to going to a nightclub and cutting loose. A woman with confidence, but not conceded. Someone that knows what she’s got and knows how to use it, but has enough respect to not let it flaunt. A woman that is down to earth and looks upward toward the stars.
No lies, no bible beaters, no alcoholics, no drug addicts, but someone that has been in those situations. Someone that has had been lied to, or had drug and alcoholic experiences, but also knows that it is a part of their past and no room for it in the future. (Within moderation... and there is always an exception to the rule) Too many people today take things too literally or assume too quickly. I want a woman that can analyze a situation, to see what is going on or being said before stepping forth. Someone that stands by what she says, but is always yearning for knowledge and new possibilities.
Most importantly, the ability to laugh. The ability to look at life straight in the face when she's at her lowest, and laugh. To have compassion for someone that trips and helps he or she up, but be able to laugh at the situation. Be able to laugh if she were in that situation, and be able to get up and continue on with stride.
I don’t know what love is, but I would imagine it’s the feeling you get when listening to a ballad by Frank Sinatra. The way his voice swings and sways with every vowel and consonant. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach every time you meet or talk on the phone. The feeling of anxiety, adrenaline pumping and passion coursing through your veins every time your skin touches hers. Dizziness and utter bliss with every kiss. Not many words can be put to what I am trying to say. All I know, I have asked countless people what love is and they all respond with “You will know it.” I guess my biggest question is when? When will I ever be able to look into my lover’s eyes with love, devotion and passion as I grasp her in my arms? Holding her tightly. Looking into her never ending eyes, as she looks into mine, and know that this is forever.
The woman I’m looking for has passion. I am a hopeless romantic, and in that sense, I try to make my woman feel special and important. I need a woman to do the same. A woman that can appreciate the small things that I may do, (emphasis on “may”) and of course, spontaneity! I want to be able to come home and have a nice surprise for me waiting on the couch in nothing but an oversized man’s dress shirt. Being at work and having her drop off her panties in my hands in a short skirt as a tease to what’s to come. Creeping into the shower in the morning with me as I get ready for work. Taking a long walk in the mountains to a lagoon and dropping all clothes for a mid-afternoon skinny dip. I can go on and on about the countless fantasies, but they all are nothing without confidence. A woman must feel confident enough about her body. I see a woman as a fine work of art. With never ending curves, compassion, and a touch like a breeze on a hot summer day. No woman can possibly understand the feelings I'm filled with when I look upon a beautiful figure of Eden. Never the less, no man can possibly understand how self conscious a woman can be about her body. Every time she looks in the mirror, she critiques herself to every detail. No woman can pass a mirror without thinking about it and no man can pass by a Victoria Secret’s ad without taking time to appreciate it. But it’s not all about looks. Not every man thinks that Cindy Crawford is attractive. Some like bigger woman and some like skinnier women, but it’s all about the same...the search to be desired and to desire someone.
I value three major things in my life right now; my car, my computer, and my family.
First would be my car. There is nothing like the feeling I get as I hear the leather on the steering wheel buckle as I grasp onto it with both hands with knuckle-whitening pressure. Hearing the engine roar as I come up to a 90 degree turn screaming at 80mph listening to the gears downshift and the break being applied and the tires screech as the weight of the car shifts when going through the apex of the turn. Hitting the Gas and hearing the beast unleashed from within the hood, and feeling the rush as the car straightens when coming out of the turn only to realize that there is another at the bottom of the hill. I need a woman that loves watching a man; covered in grease, work on his car on a hot summer afternoon. I need a woman that looks at cars as works of art, as do I feel about my car from the countless hours of blood and sweat poured all over the engine from modification after modification to try to turn tighter and go faster. (With all performance vehicles, safety is always the key. In no way is it my intentions to hurt others or myself on the road around me. So if you see me coming up behind you and flash my lights, slow down so I can pass or move to the next lane. It is always my responsibility to deal with the officer that pulls me over for speeding, rather than dealing with the officer about a collision because you felt it was necessary to take the law in your own hands....)
Second would have to be love for computers. I see computers as an infinite gateway for information. Almost all the information taught in any collage around the world can be found through a computer. Anything you can possibly imagine can be accomplished with a computer. As our society grows and technology develops, computers have become more and more of everyday life, and if you don’t know anything about computers by now, you are left in the dark. I need a woman that knows what an OS is, and what a gigabyte is. Imagination is the key. A computer can help you realize whatever your imagination can fathom. I need a woman with inspiration and creativity. Someone that looks at the world in a completely different way, but also stays positive about it and knows how to utilize a computer to help her reach her goals.
Most important of all, my family. Without them, I would not be here. May the spirits always watch out for them...protect them...and help them along in their journey throughout life.
Character and Personality
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-Copyright © 1999-2001 Astrocenter.com, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
The following paragraphs concern the study of Matt's personality, as induced by the positions of the planets and Rising sign. Some of the character traits mentioned may seem completely contradictory and incompatible. This is because the rough-hewn personality is a rarity. Usually, individuals are made up of a subtle orchestration of many different tones or aspects. However, serious introspection or detailed analysis should make it possible to distinguish the opposing or diverging images comprising Matt's overall character, and perhaps, in time, find the best and most harmonious way to integrate them.
The specificity of Matt's personality can be summed up by his nostalgic yearning for his roots - a “paradise lost “which is also a source of energy and vitality. Matt's power is linked to memory: he inhabits a present which draws sustenance from the past, from continuity and timelessness. The power of memory can either be dynamic or static, however. The consciousness of an inaccessible past can either immobilize him in melancholy and nostalgia, or shine as an ideal which motivates him to recreate a new harmony. His refuge, his obsession with it may be such that his progress is impeded. If, on the contrary, he thinks of it as a starting point or launching pad for his comprehension of the human condition, he will integrate it into his self-realization process. Matt possesses a potential for great maturation and wisdom. He is relatively slow-moving, and may feel protected from the outer world by an armor of education, family surroundings (his most cherished environment), and social status. For this reason, he tends to limit the scope of his activities to a single well-defined sphere, and, within the boundaries he has established, releases the entire spectrum of his rich and varied emotional expression. Sometimes he may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of situations which will introduce him to unfamiliar factors and elements; he sees them as intrusions. Before he judges an event, a person, or a thing, he attempts to absorb it into his private universe. Of a fairly subjective and introverted turn of mind, he defines everything in terms of the sensation it arouses in him as his consciousness embraces it. This predominance of sensation gives him extreme sensory finesse: his perceptions are intense, keen, penetrating right to the heart of people and things. His imagination, which is a function of his perceptions, is also lively, colorful, and prolific. Because he is sometimes self-centered, attentive to and protective of his inner self, he may tend to withdraw into his shell when he encounters an aggression from the outer world. As a result, he may sometimes become distant and secretive. His tendency to be rather short-tempered and easily offended, a classic flaw, is also the consequence of his need for protection and security. Despite his sensitivity, and his ability to be genuinely virtuous, Matt is not always gentle. His outbreaks of hostility are all the
more wounding because of their rarity. However, more than aggressiveness, Matt's stubbornness, slow insistence, and undying determination are the extremes which may complicate his life. Once again, the family setting is vitally important to him. His attachment to his family in general and his mother in particular is deep. The way he resolves (or has resolved) the transition to adulthood and independence will be crucial to his well-being, both in terms of his inner harmony (the sensation and sensitivity which comprise his identity) and in terms of his relationships with women.
Matt wants to wield power and enjoy social prestige. He feels quite at home in the modern world others find frightening.
Matt tends to live in an imaginary world; the distant and abstract sometimes interests him more than what is right at hand and realistic.
At the time of Matt's birth, both his Rising Sign and Sun Sign were located in the constellation of Cancer (the Crab). This alignment will probably yield certain cohesiveness for his personality. A summary of the various clues mentioned above provide Matt's personality profile; the following key words distill the essence of his character and indicate certain contradictions which may be sources of tension:
Sensitivity - Imagination - Eccentricity - Savings and thrift - Suspicion - Obstinacy - Premonition.
Driven by his extreme sensitivity, Matt is likely to form intense and lasting emotional bonds. He has a great appetite for love, esteem, and appreciation. His sense of personal dignity and his jealousy sometimes confuse honor with dignity; as a result, he is simultaneously short-tempered and conciliating, possessive yet impressionable. Naturally reserved and even wary of others, he will not surrender to his partner until after he has tested her patience to the limits. Once he is certain he is safe, however, he will form an exclusive and lifelong bond. Nevertheless, he will always be easily offended. Everything related to the family, children, heritage, religious ritual and custom, sentiment, and honor will be sacred to this conformist. His determination will be forged by an instinct for preservation and respect for history. He avoids confronting obstacles face-to-face, preferring to deal with them by means of a strategy elaborated well in advance. If a crisis arises unexpectedly, he is likely to take cover until it passes. However, his problem-solving techniques are notable for their tireless persistence and seemingly infinite patience. His success will be due to his stubbornness.
Born in the three-and-one-half days after the Full Moon rose, Matt is said to be a "Full Moon” lunar type. This "soli-lunar" configuration gives him an objective, rational, and lucid character. However, since the Moon is opposite the Sun at the time of the Full Moon, his objective tendencies are balanced by a more idealistic penchant. Because the forces pull him in two different ways - one towards dreams, the other towards reality - he may be aware of some inner contradictions which are causing practical and social difficulties for him. At times, he is too demanding of himself or others, comparing them to an ideal, whereas at others, he is too nonchalant and indulgent about life. He vacillates between two poles. One is elitist, and almost snobbish; the other is more earthy, and perhaps vulgar or brutal at times. The result is a multi-faceted self. Generally speaking, his monthly energy flow is strongest at the time of the Full Moon. He would be wise to schedule intensive work phases at that time, as well as ambitious and demanding projects.
Warm and affable, Matt is animated by honesty and generosity. Due to the solar dominant of his birth chart, his father (or a man who served as a father figure, possibly a teacher) influenced him strongly and imprinted him with the positive values which are now at the core of his being. However, his perception and comprehension of the world are filtered through an innate ability for artistic discrimination: a sense of aesthetics. For him, “beauty " is “truth” - and not vice-versa. Style and harmony, and the skills involved with putting things on display, such as artistic representation, light, and transparence, are concepts which come naturally to him, and he makes use of them in his life.
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-Copyright © 1999-2001 Astrocenter.com, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
I am a realist. I realize that the world if full of crazy people, or that perhaps I’m the crazy one and everyone else is normal. Every person plays their cards very carefully throughout life in hope that it will always turn out for the better. I’m looking for a woman that knows how to play the game. The game of life. I see life as very difficult, but I have a tendency to see the good things that life brings me. A chocolate-chip cookie, a five-minute cigarette, or an ice Cold beer after a long day is the closest most people get to paradise. I want more out of life. I want to sit on an exotic island in ten years, with the love of my life lying beside me watching the sun set. I want someone to walk that path with me. I want someone that can go with me to reach my goals as well as hers. Someone that encourage me to better myself throughout life and always has a passion to better herself as a person.
I have learned allot in my life, and most of that time was used anticipating what a woman will do next. After years and years of analyzing women, it has just about taken all the mystery out of it all. I have always had a gift of being able to read people, watching how they react to things and the way they move and carry themselves. Compiling novels of information at a time, just by watching a woman walk down the street of drink a cup of coffee. I need a woman that has that gift to. A woman that can read me. Even though I may not say exactly what I mean, she needs to be able to take the expressions and gestures I use to make a good conclusion to what exactly is going on in my head. With most men, we know what we want to say, but just don’t know how to say it. Unfortunately, because of the years of compiling information, I have a tendency to use that to my advantage to get what I want. I guess it would be the same as a woman flirting with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket. I need a woman that can realize what I’m trying to do and turn that around. I can be pretty stubborn sometimes, but if I’m caught in a corner, I begin to see the error in my ways (if I am wrong). After a woman has showed me that we are equals in playing the game of life, I stop trying to play tricks to get what I want and the real me comes out. Patients! Patients are a very valuable personality attribute. Like I said, I am very hard headed and I need a woman that can look past all that and see what’s inside and not the shell. Unfortunately, that takes time, unless you can see through the outer shell and take me for whom I really am.
The following contains sexual content. If any such material offends you, you shouldn't be reading this in the first place.
Sex. What can I say about it? We all know what it is, and we all know what nature intended for it to produce . . . Children. As I was growing up, my parents never came to me and had the “birds and the bees” talk. Instead they had decided that an hour class in middle school was sufficient information to know about intercourse. As we all sat there and talked about the male and female anatomy (the male being very descriptive and precise, and the female being describe as a mythical wonder that they hold between their legs where strange monthly cycles occur and where all the sperm swim like trout up stream . . ..) {Sorry for the fish reference, ladies} A class for an hour didn’t even answer one of my questions about sex. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know specifics. (Now . . . When I went to high school, homosexuals were not as prominent as they are today. In fact, I can’t even recall a gay man openly admitting it in high school. As for lesbians, well . . . that was on all the minds of men
back then as it is now.) So my desire to fill my brain with as much information on the subject of sex grew and grew. I started to find myself hanging out more in the “Self-Help” section of the bookstore more and more, consuming picture after picture and word after word. Couples books I read on everything from tartaric and techniques to pleasure points and positions. Anything and everything, you name it. As I got older the Internet was developed, and that opened up the gates of information to my database. For years I searched and read thousands and thousands of pages. For a short time, I worked at a strip club, as a Waiter and a then a DJ. Working as a disk jockey for an adult entertainment establishment opened my eyes to a real life. To allot of things I never would have seen or realized in such a short amount of time. As I prepared music overnight, I would often spend time with the girls before the show. They would often talk about their previous night’s sexual excursion and I would listen and laugh with them. After time, that gave me the most important tool that I could ever have to my learning journey, the female psyche. For months I probed their minds for likes and dislikes to help me be able to see everything from a females prospective, and then analyze their beautiful bodies glimmer beneath the rays of light bursting from above. I began to see the female body as a work of art. The way that hips swing naturally back and forth when a woman in high heels slowly walks away as if to taunt any man who gaze upon it. The way a woman can look at you for a split second, but it seems an eternity to your heart as it stops beating. Needless to say, I was obsessed. I wanted to know every curve and every possible personality trait in every woman. Well, if you haven’t figured out by now, sex is important to me. It’s not the act of sex, more like the passion and feelings shared between two people. I think it is beautiful feelings when you hold the one you love in your arms, feeling your skin brush against hers while the candle light dances around the room. It almost has a spiritual feeling when you are really in touch with the one you are with.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to get down and dirty too. Sometimes it’s good to just go driving on a cool night and pull into a quiet subdivision and rip each other’s clothes off. Taking no time with buttons or zippers, just tearing fabric from limb from limb. Pushing and grinding as the windows steam up in seconds from the passion. There is nothing like it. I think it is what makes me feel so alive. The woman I desire must have inspiration and spontaneity. She must feel confident about her body, but not arrogant. (Like for instance the picture above; an inquisitive, sneaky look with a minimal amount of clothes faintly lying upon her body as if a slight breeze could blow them off.) No jewelry! There is nothing worse than feeling a woman soft fingers until she grabs something and chunks of skin are pinched between her fingers from all the rings she has on. If we are getting naked, we are going to do it all the way.
Except piercing, of course. Those might come in handy . . . . .
Well, where do I start? I feel I know Matt just as well as any of his friends, if not better. We spend six very interesting months together, and to this day we are still close friends. I don’t think that I would be the person that I am today if I hadn’t met Matt. Although he probably doesn’t realize this, he helped me break down the walls I had built up for so long. He is a wonderful person. He is very sensitive and concerned about those around him. Sometimes I think he spends too much time sorting everyone else’s problems. Matt needs someone that will spend just as much time on him. He needs someone to nurture him and show him that his problems are just as important as everyone else’s. Also, Matt has qualities that a lot of women look for in a man. He loves spending quiet, romantic evenings with the person that he loves. He needs someone who is adventurous, yet can find enjoyment cuddling by a fire listening to music.
Sometimes Matt can be very imaginative. He’s been known to start a conversation on the most unusual ideas. You have to be quick on your feet because Matt can pick your brain for knowledge. He enjoys learning new things on interesting topics. He’s very intelligent, but it almost seems that he just can’t learn enough. He needs someone that can share his passion for understanding.
Matt also has a wild side. He is very confident and needs a woman who can hold her own. If he wants to go out on the town, his woman needs to be prepared. She shouldn’t be ashamed of her body, but willing to show off what she has. Matt would love for his lady to wear some sexy little evening gown for a romantic evening at a quiet restaurant. The type of dress that when she walks into the room, everyone stares and wonders who she is. She needs to feel confident about herself. Of course, the opposite side of Matt would be happy to see his woman lounging in a pair of boxers and a tee shirt.
Over the past three years I’ve seen Mat go from one horrible relationship to another. From am outsiders point of view it seemed that these “girls” weren’t able to realize how great they had it. It’s time for Matt to find that one woman that can appreciate him for who he really is.
“Buzybee” Age 24
Their are so many things I want to share in my life. Their are so many places I want to see and do, but I don’t want to do them alone. I want a woman that has a sense of adventure.
To be devoted and loving through thick and thin. I sometimes see myself as a character in a movie. The way a man and woman come together after impossible odds to live happily ever after. I know that real life doesn’t always work that way, but it would be nice to finally meet someone that understands what is going on. Too many times have I met girls that have no idea what is really going on in the world. Girls that think they have the world wrapped around their fingertips. Too many times I have met women that live in their own little world, oblivious that every person is their own. Some even think that if things are not done their way or if others do not see things from their point of view, they are wrong. Every human has his or her own soul and their own path to walk in this world, whether they choose that path or not.
I am the type of person that listens and evaluates the situation before stepping into the middle of it. I like to gather as much information about a subject or a conversation before involving myself. I need a woman that knows when the time is right to talk and the time to listen. I need a woman that is mature and has a good grasp on what life is all about. Most women I have met throughout the years, I have noticed that intelligence is optional. Not meaning that they are stupid, but more along the lines of inexperienced with reality. I am a realistic person. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that no one on this rock will give you anything on a silver platter; you have to work for it. Sometimes harder than others, but someone always wants something out of the deal. I need a woman that realizes this. A woman that knows that nothing comes for free, and is willing to work for what she wants. A woman that has faced hardships throughout her life, but doesn’t hold that against anyone. In realizing those hardships, she must be able to learn from them to make her a better person. To me, that’s what real intelligence is about. When a person can make a mistake, admit it, and learn from it. Intelligence is not how book smart you are, that just proves that you can memorize things you read very well. I see it as learning the basics of science and physics and taking that knowledge to develop the idea of gravitational pulls in our atmosphere. How Albert Einstein toyed around with thought of matter vs. energy. The way Steve Jobs and Bill Gates created the first motherboard in their garage. No man or woman on the planet had even thought at the time that computers would be used in almost everything we do today. Maybe in the future, we can use Einstein’s theories about matter vs. energy for interstellar travel as astronauts laugh at how people drove so long ago.
Well, what can I say? I don’t think that anything I possibly can write can define exactly what the type of woman I am searching for. All I know is that I’m searching for love, this Tomcat is ready to it hang up. I guess what it really comes down too is a feeling. The feeling of a warm spot within, somewhat like the warm feeling you get when your mother applies a cool wet cloth on your forehead when you are sick. A feeling you get when you know that the person that stands before you and will love you unconditionally. When you stand in the shower, or before you drift off to sleep, and you can feel the warmth and soft touch on your skin. It feels as if it literally “warms” your soul. Like a drive through the countryside on a mildly warm, clear day in spring.
It may seem that I am asking the impossible, but I assure you I am not.
I have met and dated only two I ever felt like I had an emotional bond with. The first woman (not naming any names) opened my eyes to the world. She showed me how beautiful even the most minuscule thing can be. How gentle the breeze can blow and bright the sun can shine. I felt things with her that I never knew were possible. We would talk all the time about everything and yet, nothing. Everything from astrophysics, to counting cars that would drive by. I can still to this day remember how soft her skin was. How visiting, one year around Christmas, we were shopping and baby-sitting all day. With the child passed out in my arms, I carried him to the bed and came downstairs in a semi consciousness. Passing out as if gravity had clutched my body and pulled it down onto the sofa, I soon felt a warm, soft hand on my forehead. Out of the last gleaming sights out of my eyes, was her face with a small loving grin. For six hours she lay there with me, as I was dormant. As I resurrected from my coma, she started to slowly drift asleep and I carefully carried her upstairs to bed. Never in my life had I slept that well in my entire life. The next day I wake with our arms entangled within each other’s. Unfortunately, she was determined and devoted to her career as she was devoted to me, but the career slowly began to become her life and livelihood. I can truly say, I will never forget her for as long as I live.
The second showed me her soul, and brought out the best in mine. I was filled with a renewed spirit. The warm full feeling in my heart soured me to the heavens above.
“Every day that has passed since a few months ago, a feeling of emptiness and distress has been filling my soul. As time ticked on, the feeling of despair grew and grew until depression and confusion consumed me. Wondering around from day to day, feeling like I have no real purpose in life, losing sight of what really matters to me. Never knowing if this sadness will ever end, I take a chance in life and love. I arrived at her house in suspense of what was to follow. Not knowing what to say, we left for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. The food was lacking in desire and the atmosphere quite contrary to the menu, as I sat across from her a blank came across my mind. Having so many questions to be answered and thoughts racing trough my mind, I was speechless. I could see that the silence was developing into an uncomfortable stare. I had to say something; I had to make the first move to break the silence. Nervousness ripped through me as I try to collect simple words together. Saved by the waitress asking us what we would like to drink, I responded and she was off like a flash. Back to the silence and an uncomfortable stare. Stumbling with "Umm" and "Uh", she asks me what this is all about. Confronting my feelings, I explain it all.
I began with the first time we met and the first time I gazed upon such a beautiful sight. The first time she spoke to me, my heart fluttered with anticipation with every word that she spoke. How months passed by, and hours of time at work we spend together laughing at each other's different perspectives on life. It has been a long time since we last spent those days together. It has been a long time since we have talked and laughed together. It has felt like an eternity since I last gazed upon this heavenly beauty. As abruptly as dinner had started, it ended with disappointment from us both.
Collecting my thought and anxiety, I turn the key to start the engine when I decided that the night was not over. I drove toward her house to take her home as I kept listening to her talk about days of the past. With a sly-ish smirk on my face, I passed her house and continued on to the freeway. Reminiscing about days gone by, we talked for hours as I just drove and drove. A fill-up at the gas station and over a hundred miles later, I found my love and I uncannily close to a hide-a-way I had gone to as a child. Talking a few twists and turns, we arrive at an open field and I direct my car into the brush. Opening the moon-roof to the millions of stars on a fairytale night, we slowly sank into our seats at the vast beauty above. For hours we spent gazing at the stars as the light danced across the sky. Captivated by the sky, a feeling of completeness came across me; a feeling of utter bliss and nirvana filled my soul. As if it were our destiny to be together, our lips met as a cosmic feeling fell over us. Grasping her and holding her in my arms seemed to be an eternity. Feeling her lips connect with mine filled me with such passion I have never felt before. As if we were meant together since the
beginning of time, my head spun and my mind raced. Nothing had prepared me for the full rush of passion and exciting anticipation that filled my body. Pulling away from her, and noticing she had felt the same, we began our journey back to her house.
Slowly and sly-ishly slipping into the driveway, I said my good-byes in the disappointment that the night had to come to an end. Holding her in my arms one last time for the night, I knew I would probably never see her again. Taking one last look at me, she exited the car, waved, and said our good-byes once more as she slowly walked out of my life and back to her husband.”
-M.J.
I was thinking the only way I am going to be able to think about what would be the perfect woman for Matt, is the think about the best woman for me. Just as long as I stay as honest as possible, I thought to myself what would I want keeping in mind that Matt is pretty much a carbon copy, just in a man’s form. To find a woman that would put up with me would be nothing short of a miracle. She would have to be strong mentally and physically, and of course attractive . . . Other good qualities people expect also come to mind.
Hair and eye color do not matter as long as everything is well kept, a good physic is important. She would of course have to be able to stand up for herself if she were ever be able to stand in a fight. I wouldn’t want to feel like I had to watch a baby or wuss.
My perfect woman would have to have an open and honest heart and mind. She would have to have the understanding of how my mind worked and my thoughts so she would never think that she was being manipulated. Matt and I are like the same person when it comes to getting what we want; we have manipulated people time and time again and know exactly what to do to get our way.
She would have to be able to change her attitude depending on if Matt wanted to cuddle or left alone, she would have to respect his wishes. She would also need to better than to be dominated like a piece of property. Although, every woman has the right to put her foot down in certain cases.
Last, but not least, she would have to be a complete freak in bed. Dominate one night, gentle and compassionate the next. Someone who has extreme talents and has spent time discovering and learning the arts of pleasure.
In the days of Matt and I deep depression, the woman would have to mend his mind, heart and help him become whole again. I hope that one day he will find his woman; she sweeps him off his feet and takes good care of him. Matt needs to be pampered and loved, but everyone does. I have seen his heart fade; I have seen the loneliness, depression, anger, and frustration. I know that he can’t continue on much more, the need of companionship has consumed him. I just hope it does not destroy him. I have been there and experienced a lot, which he has. One day I fill find my perfect man as he will find his woman.
“Raven” - age 24
As I entered the candle lit room, my heart pulsated with a desire and passion of temptation only accelerated by the sweet scent of light perfume that trickled through the air. My soul soaring at the sight of my angel calmly waiting in the room before me, she begins to slowly float across the room like an angel from heaven. Whispers of fabric glide along her soft skin as she passes through the candlelight, rippling around her body as though hanging on a thread. Stopping in my tracks, I gaze upon my beauty in contempt of this godly form in front of me. Feeling her loving arms slowly wrap around my body and soul, looking into her eyes are like looking into the far galaxies above as the light shimmers and dances across her eyes. Eyes so pure and free, the glimmering stars above seem to be captivated in their beauty; her skin brushing against mine reminding me of soft rose pedals on a warm spring morning. Caressing her in my arms, filling me with such completeness and joy, it warms my soul knowing that this myth of mine will be with me until the end of time. Our energy ignites like a fiery inferno as we embrace each other in this evening bliss. I wish I could be held in her soft touch for an eternity.
I wish it were actually like that. It almost sounds like a romance novel. Am I possibly going crazy over all this? Have analyzing women’s minds for so long I have actually started thinking like them? If I think like a woman does that mean I'm going insane? The fact of the matter is there is no one on this green earth that can tell what a woman is thinking, except for that woman.
Perhaps I have read too many books about relationships, anatomy, psychology, emotions, and karma sutra. Perhaps I have lost the ability to naturally be attracted to someone. After searching for so long and being abused by so many people over time, I am losing hope. I am afraid that this thirst for passion that lies deep within will never be quenched. I may roam the earth as some perverted old man with glaucoma that gives massages for quarters on the street and writes poetry. (Crazy as it may sound; it's a possibility.) I would become some famous sideshow freak for a couple of months and then off to the Jerry Springer Show to bitch about my mothers-brothers-dog's-friend slept with an alien or something. Fear is the one thing that has kept me going.
With every Yin there is a Yang. I can accept the nights of drunken stumble and holding my lovers' head with a wet rag as she "prays to the porcelain god", or the occasional fight and disagreement about trivial things, or the indecisiveness of what to wear for 2 hours before a date. I can even accept a woman's menstrual cycle; I know I've got to deal with things worse than that myself. I am willing to accept all the bad that may come with the good; it all comes down to if the bad out-weighs the good. No matter how bad a woman thinks she may have life, there is always someone that can out shine the rest. It seems that I am a magnet for the unusual. It seems that the only people that want to come around me have something wrong with them to add massive amounts of drama to my life. For example:
I dated one girl that was a kleptomaniac, not stealing from me, but stealing from all my friends and family. Perpetual liar, and not to mention sucking every last red cent I had in the bank. I moved * way across the country with her for two years.
Another would be someone with a chemical imbalance in her brain. She had to take one pill as an upper for ADHD and a downer for something else. That girl didn't know if she was coming or going. One time she showed up 2 days late for a date.
Not convinced yet? What about the android? I recently met this beautiful woman through some friends, who happened to be in my math class in collage. We went to a bar and shot some billiards, she didn't say a word. We went back to my place to watch a movie and she still said nothing. Thinking that she is having a bad time, I began to question her and she responds in a monotone voice that she is having a good time! There was nothing I could have said or done to get some emotional reaction out of her. I could have chopped off my arm and beat her with it, and she probably wouldn't get as much as a smirk on her face. With one extreme to another, the next girl dramatized everything. She would almost break down and cry if I didn't say hello to her or call her everyday. She acted like a 15-year-old that could drink; everything had such a dramatic impact on her life. I'm not really sure which is worse, a robot or a drama queen. No matter how many women I meet, no matter where they are from, it's always something new. There is always some hang-up, some part of their life that has changed them forever. Where are the normal women? I come from a small town in the country, with a loving family. Sometimes times were good and sometimes times were bad, and even through all these failed relationships or being walked all over just keep pounding on me like a brick wall; never once had it effected me to a point of insanity. Everything from working in a strip club to being an usher in church, nothing I have ever experienced traumatized me to the extent of all these women. Granted, I am very open-minded about everything and believe that anything is possible, but if I think that way, why can't there be any women that are like that? Why do they all have to have something wrong with them? I can't imagine anything that a woman could tell me that would surprise me, but being raped, as a child seems to be a popular one. I can understand that it would be very traumatizing type experience, but learn from it! Take some Kung Fu classes. Learn self-defense and move on. Do women really think that it impresses a guy, or that the guy will feel sorry for them? Most men just take it as a sign of emotional baggage and get as far away as possible. Basically what I'm saying is that I want an individual. Accepting the good with the bad, but the woman must also accept the downfalls of life.
Regardless of what may have happened to her in the past, she needs to be the type of woman to learn from those mistakes and move on. She needs to be the type to control her life, not let her life control her. Having a child is ok; just take responsibility for that child. Being late, or experiencing a life-threatening situation is ok, just take some responsibility for it and move on. It seems that most women today do nothing wrong (in their minds). They can do no wrong; it is always someone else's fault. "I fell asleep, but it's not my fault, it's the medication I'm taking." "I didn't steal the VCR! I just moved it into my room, under the bed (to take to the pawnshop).
Why are YOU accusing me?"
Now look, I know that everything just said does not apply to everyone. I know that the last few paragraphs have generalized women as a whole, but that is what is so confusing. How can so many women have so much in common, but it never is the same thing? For example: 9 out of 10 women might like to be kissed behind the ear, but that one person likes to be bitten. Now, let’s say a man begins to date one of the 9 and then goes out with that one person that likes to be bitten instead of kissed. No damage done, the woman would simply say "Bite me, don't kiss me!" Now, let's say the man then goes out with another woman, from that 9, he bites her on the neck, and he gets a stake through the heart because she thinks he is a vampire! (Men just can't win these days) There are always exceptions to the rules. Perhaps I truly am a magnet for the mentally dysfunctional.
It has been brought to my attention, by some of my loyal and trustworthy readers that I seem to be skipping over a certain subject. I have purposely been skipping over this subject due to the automatic assumption that most women think that men only care about looks. Even though personality is very important, looks are a very good way to compliment that. Unfortunately, for my own safety, I'm not going to put detailed descriptions of what a mature, passionate woman should look like. "Art is in the eye of the beholder." What I can do though, is to describe my preferences in a woman. Women, just as men, come in many different shapes and sizes. First let me put this picture in your mind:
You come in from a long day at work to find your husband sitting on the couch drinking a beer, watching some game show. As he sits there, digging at his crouch, you notice how much bigger and rounder his belly has gotten since you two tied the knot. Taking a disappointing stare at his lazy, fat ass laying about the furniture like a throw rug, he grumbles something about sticking "tab A" into "slot B" in rebuttal to your request for assistance with the groceries. Noticing the kitchen looks like a war zone, your "hubby" ask you to bring him another beer then mumbling once more about some gratuitous sex acts upon delivery of his nectar. The next thing you know, there is a full beer breaking the sound barrier toward his skull.
As much as a woman would hate to see that in real life, men are the same. I can appreciate a woman that takes pride in her appearance, and is confident about her appearance, but there is always a different line to draw for every different man in the world. I can't really say that I have a preference in specifics, such as breast size hips or pinpointed measurements, but I can say that I like to be able to wrap my arm around my girl. I like to feel her wrapped in one arm and covered by the other. Now I'm not talking about a twig, by any means, but I'm also not referencing a woman gifted in "curves". I guess the one thing that it comes to would have to be a woman being fit, and not having any folds. If I might be chasing you around the house snapping you with a towel, you have to keep ahead of me, and/or retaliate. I may like to sit around the house, but I usually am on my way in or out or cleaning something. Besides, I need someone to spar with, someone to practice Kung Fu with, and someone that can be athletic, cunning, and quick. (This sounds like an ARMY commercial) No, I'm not asking for any unusual strength like leaping over a building in a single bound, for an opening in the super hero division. Just the simple fact of taking care of one's self. Go out, drink, party, but always be aware that in some shape or form, you will have to pay for it in the later years of your life as your body becomes older and cannot heal as fast. Eating is very important. I actually have a very high metabolism and need to eat about 5 times a day just to stay and average weight. Just eat within your means, unlike my father. I have had to deal with excessive eating for all my life and I am seeing what it does to people, I don't suggest it.
What is it about women? It seems that some women need to get to know you better before they can date you; and others you have to date to get to know better. It almost seems like applying for a loan at a bank, pretty much every woman that I have met has the same generic story. Boy meets girl, girl waits two hours that night for him to call. Usually the guy doesn’t even know the girl is interested, let’s face it, guys have to be slapped across the head to get a subtle message. Most women think that men are all about sex, knowing that I can’t argue that there are a lot of men that fall in that category, there is a very large percent that looks for more than just a place to plug their power tool. Men and women are two completely different beings in some aspects. Women have a tendency to read into what a guy says, and the guy ends up doing the complete opposite. A woman will emotionally crave a man to kiss her, where a man would just jump on the chance. One thing about women that I have noticed: they have great intellect and powerful emotions. The only problem is that they cannot make any decision with both sides. Women usually make an instinctually emotional decision or a “well thought out” plan. Women also have a keen sense on detail. Women can remember things that happened a year ago, tell you what she was wearing that day, tell you what the weather was like, and even tell you about who was having a sale and traffic. It is almost unrealistic. Yet, women make irrational decisions at times, letting their emotions get the best of them. (Now, I’m not here to just pick on the ladies. We all know that men usually think with the wrong “head”.) For instance, a man asks a simple question about a woman day. I think that things would be much easier if women had some sort of sign to show what type of mood they are is, like a cobra rattle . . .
Women say all the time that they want men to conversate more. What they really mean is that they want men to just ask the right questions and listen so she can rage on with whatever is bothering her. Although, men have caught on through the years, and we all have figured out just to nod or heads. We usually say things like “No way!” or “what?” with a real surprised look on our face, and we always end it with “That no good bitch!” because 99% of the time, a woman is nagging about some other bitch at work.
Another good point would be who is a liar? Now their are huge differences in men and women telling lies. Men will tell little white lies to cover their ass when in a sling. Of course, we always have to tell another little white lie to cover up the first one, and it always falls through because we forget what we said the first lie was. Women on the other hand, go far and beyond the call of duty. A woman does not lie, a woman tells a fictional fantasy story with ulterior plots and an all-star cast when asked, “What did you do for lunch?” Women, with their bionic powers for details, will even call her friends to relay the story to help cover. A whole clan, telling the same sob story, knowing that every word of it is a lie.
Sometimes it feels that men and women are from two completely different planets. I prefer to think about it as just different humans. It does not matter if you are a man or woman, everyone will be treated equally if I can help it. Everyone should have all the same opportunities and discomforts; the major difference is how that person is affected by what happens to them. People need to realize that we all have been through the same shit, just different reactions. Some people can handle stress, and then their are the people that need therapy. It is that simple. The mind is very strong and can accomplish many things, but the only things it cannot control are the feelings of the heart. - - - - [Introduction End]
posted by Pixel Guy at
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