::: Cheap Therapy :::

11.13.2004

Oh jeez, has it been a while or what!? Let’s see, the quick run-down:
I am still with Taryn, still at Pinnacle Amusements, and still cigarette. I am not really sure what else there is to life, but hopefully I will figure it out soon, or I may just lose my mind.

Taryn has worn off her ‘newness’ with me and both of us have experienced some more than unpleasant personality traits about one another. I am starting to have a little trouble with the weight thing. As in, I think Taryn should go on a diet for my libido’s sake. Never-the-less, she is ok in bed, although I wish she was a whole hell of a lot more kinky. She thinks that doing it in the car is kinky, HA! That's a good one, doing it in the car for me is something that comes natural. It has come across on a many occasion when we are talking about countries; she gets defensive and constantly rebuts everything I say, which usually ends up in a fight. I think deep down she still feels that all Americans are arrogant, like children in a candy store. I think when I really think about it, I think that her ways are old fashioned and out of date, but I have to remember that it is her ‘culture’ anshouldn'tI shouldn’t judge someone just from the way that they are brought up. I guess the same could be said for the United States and I. Even in America, people are surprised when they mean someone from North Carolina and they aren’t the typical barefoot, torn overalls, six toothed, and redneck type character. Well, anyway, I think I am going to join a gym with Kelly and start going twice a week. I think it is time for me to finally put forth some effort in getting in better shape, maybe that might even mean fishing around a little in the jean pool to find a fish that better suits my life, someone that is a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. Taryn and I had a conversation a few weeks ago, and I felt like sharing something very personal hoping it was the right time. So, now that it was out in the open, we were making out one evening, and she slips in between my legs to give the good-ol’ knob a slob, when she reaches around the back side and begins to plunder around with her finger. Now, first of all, she had fingernails, which are like claws when around sensitive skin; secondly, she lacked a total sensuality and finesse about it. A sensuality and finesse that people usually have when they take it up the ass or like anal play, which of course certainly turned me off instantly. I quickly grabbed her hand and pulled it away in slight embarrassment and fear of getting my ass ripped out by her nails.

[coffee and joint, be right back]

I whispered in her ear that now was not a good time and just went on to have other foreplay that of course led up to sex, a cigarette, and some sleep. She seems to be open about it, but she doesn’t seem to know the right way to go about initiating it. I tried to get her to read through ‘The Guide To Getting It On’ (a great book that explains almost it all that pertains to sex), but she believes that she doesn’t need those books, that she knows how to pleasure her man. Well….not to be mean about it…but… no she doesn’t. At least not me…I mean, sex is good, it’s like Pizza, you can never have a bad piece, but I can defiantly say that (at this point in the relationship) her piece is not the best piece of pizza I have ever had. It is good sex, but not great. Not crazy enough, definitely sensual, but just not kinky enough. I know I could have that, and could just slowly lead her up to things that I want to do to her and things I want her to do with me, but what does she get out of it? No matter what she does to me, or vise versus, if she isn’t into it or doesn’t like it it’s going to show, and that is kind of a turn off.
Anyway, I have got to got going for now, I will try back later. Please leave your name and number after the beep….