The Butterfly

For most of my life cold dreary clouds of despair hovered over my head, reminding me of my exclusion form the rest of society. Like a mysterious thunderstorm that rolled in over my head from the time I awoke in the morning to the time I went to sleep at night, this shape shifting fog would rain it’s freezing rain and misery, washing a title wave of depression and self loathing over my soul. As a child I strained to fit in, but always was the last one picked. As I grew older to my teen years my segregation from the common thought and common path grew stronger and further from reach. Even only up to a short time ago, my disheartening haze seemed to twist and turn my essence into a dying lifeless rock. A contemptuous and wasteful shell of what I only wished it would be and never thought that it to be repairable, until I met Alecia. I can almost taste nature’s sweet honeysuckle on my lips when she kisses them, as the grey cloud of confusion and frustration begins to clear. A bright and almost blinding light starts to peep through the clouds; forcing my mind to shade it’s eyes from the purity of the clarity. New feelings emerge, new desires and goals. My soul feels as if is awaking from a deep depressing sleep; stretching it’s arms and arching it’s back in the warm glow of the light. Releasing all if it’s tension and insecurities inscribed into it by the many passing years of fooling myself into seclusion. Like a butterfly from a cocoon, a new soul appears; revamped, collected and driven by the need to succeed and please the only essence that could possibly turn this emotional and unguided train wreck into positive enforcement. It brings a tear to my eye with the mere thought of never seeing her again, and the cloud hovers, but at a distance as I try to grasp onto the contemplation of us growing old together, and a warmness fills my heart again. If pixie dust and a happy thought were all you needed to fly, all I would need would be a pixie. Her loving touches to her sensual kisses fill my mind almost every minute of the day. As if she were sent from the heavens just for me, I would do anything for her, just to be with her, just to hold hands with her…to feel her lips upon mine…to grow old with her.