'Real Love'
I am a member of a H-help site that updates informational resources and get people together that have 'H'. (basically a cheaper version of therapy) Anyway, I got a message in my email about a 'H' meet and greet at a local pizza place, but attached to the email was a person's profile with a very good view-point of what love is. Take a look...
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As I get older, I am refining my definition of love. I realize that love isn't just a feeling. It is a commitment. It is a sacrifice. It is action. When you say "I love you," I is the subject, love is the verb, and you is the direct object. Get it? Love is a verb. So when you love someone, it manifests itself in everything you do. It comes naturally . . . when you love.
Since I have fallen in love quite a few times, I need to modify my perspective on love or else it just seems like it becomes worn out. I can feel love for someone pretty quickly. It might not necessarily mean that I want to spend the rest of my life with them. So is falling in love important? Well, yeah! I think the initial passion and desire in the beginning of a relationship is something you should try to capitalize on and sustain for as long as possible. Because, heck, it is fun. You will reminisce about it for the rest of your lives. But, in the end, it is the Real Love (notice the capitalization) that matters. So now, what do I think that is?
Real Love. Saying and meaning "I love you" even when you are absolutely furious with a person. Making a commitment where you put aside your agenda for the combined good. Opening up the can of worms when you know something is bothering the other person even when it would be the easiest thing to just ignore the issue. Loving that he snores at night. Being able to do the little things that don't matter one way or another to you as long as they matter to the other person. Knowing that you want to have the other persons children. Keeping your promises. Caring enough to fight about things because you know that in the long run, the issue will HAVE to be resolved sometime. It might as well happen now. Truly knowing what he is thinking. Accepting that sometimes he probably ISN'T thinking. Knowing the little quirks and idiosyncrasies. Being comfortable together. Being the first one to reach out. Realizing in the middle of a disagreement, "hey, does this really matter?" Getting to the point where you aren't wishy-washy. "Oh, let's see how this goes" to "you are going to be my husband, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with you." (Obviously, such a statement will have to be mutual or else you are just going to scare the person off!)
"In a world full of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again. No matter how many lives you live." Real Love is solid and sustainable. It doesn't always feel good, but if you think about it, anything that we are proud of accomplishing usually comes from perseverance - not hedonism. "We need a witness to our lives. There are a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything--the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things--all of it, all the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.' "I guess some people just start believing that truly loving someone else more than you love yourself is just a disaster waiting to happen. However, I have never felt better than when I loved someone like that. Even if he leaves, it still feels right for me to love with all of my heart.
I have loved many people, but I have only really been in love twice. The funny thing is that I have probably had my heart broken half a dozen times.
I believed in love long before I believed in God; however, I can't say that I understand either one of them. In fact, it seems as I get older, they become even harder to figure out. I have to keep check on myself because I have seen people who have become hardened and bitter about love. I never want to be one of those people.
Since I have fallen in love quite a few times, I need to modify my perspective on love or else it just seems like it becomes worn out. I can feel love for someone pretty quickly. It might not necessarily mean that I want to spend the rest of my life with them. So is falling in love important? Well, yeah! I think the initial passion and desire in the beginning of a relationship is something you should try to capitalize on and sustain for as long as possible. Because, heck, it is fun. You will reminisce about it for the rest of your lives. But, in the end, it is the Real Love (notice the capitalization) that matters. So now, what do I think that is?
Real Love. Saying and meaning "I love you" even when you are absolutely furious with a person. Making a commitment where you put aside your agenda for the combined good. Opening up the can of worms when you know something is bothering the other person even when it would be the easiest thing to just ignore the issue. Loving that he snores at night. Being able to do the little things that don't matter one way or another to you as long as they matter to the other person. Knowing that you want to have the other persons children. Keeping your promises. Caring enough to fight about things because you know that in the long run, the issue will HAVE to be resolved sometime. It might as well happen now. Truly knowing what he is thinking. Accepting that sometimes he probably ISN'T thinking. Knowing the little quirks and idiosyncrasies. Being comfortable together. Being the first one to reach out. Realizing in the middle of a disagreement, "hey, does this really matter?" Getting to the point where you aren't wishy-washy. "Oh, let's see how this goes" to "you are going to be my husband, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with you." (Obviously, such a statement will have to be mutual or else you are just going to scare the person off!)
"In a world full of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again. No matter how many lives you live." Real Love is solid and sustainable. It doesn't always feel good, but if you think about it, anything that we are proud of accomplishing usually comes from perseverance - not hedonism. "We need a witness to our lives. There are a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything--the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things--all of it, all the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.' "I guess some people just start believing that truly loving someone else more than you love yourself is just a disaster waiting to happen. However, I have never felt better than when I loved someone like that. Even if he leaves, it still feels right for me to love with all of my heart.
I have loved many people, but I have only really been in love twice. The funny thing is that I have probably had my heart broken half a dozen times.
I believed in love long before I believed in God; however, I can't say that I understand either one of them. In fact, it seems as I get older, they become even harder to figure out. I have to keep check on myself because I have seen people who have become hardened and bitter about love. I never want to be one of those people.
-MPwH Member 7436399
posted by Pixel Guy at
10:40
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