Well, it is STILL raining, going on five days is a row so far. Their is a large tropical storm near the coast that is sending miscellaneous thunderstorms westward to the piedmont area of the Carolina's. At least the temperatures has cooled down, you would have to wear a jacket if you stepped outside right now; and that is a good alternative from sweating to death and 100% humidity.

Jen came over this weekend (Friday), to discuss what I wrote about her is previous posts on this Blog. Yea, I think I slipped up, I told her what the Blog was, so I am sure that she is checking just about everyday with anticipation of a new entry. She read the whole thing from beginning to end. It's so confusing to know where I stand with her, when she came over we went outside and talked about what I wrote. She said that she was a little peeved that all I talked about was sex. She said that it made her sound dirty and like a whore. Although, after our discussion and she was able to get some of her aggressions and concerns out, she looked me dead in the face and said "I just want to suck your dick." Which, of course, contradicts everything the just defended herself with. So, far be it for me to stop her, and of course that led to sex which was abruptly interrupted by the pizza man ringing the doorbell. We ate pizza, then she turns around to me and says that she wants to go out with the girls to a bar where she has good luck meeting guys (all said with the expression of 'I don't want to hurt your feelings, but this is boring and I can go find entertainment elsewhere'). So she left. The next day (Sat.), she called and called and I was still feeling a little confused from the last nights actions, so I stayed in bed most of the day. Sunday was the Panthers Game (against the cardinals) and we won! I didn't hear from Jenny all day Sunday, nor have I heard from her today either.

I think that I have decided that it would just be better for us to part ways. No more sex, no more 'hanging out' (because that always leads to sex and I don't think that she can actually restrain herself). I can appreciate the fact that she says that I am the best she has ever had, and she is the best I have ever had, but I am looking for more than just a fuck-buddy. I am looking for a real connection, and chemical and physical connection. Jenny has one or the other, but never both at the same time, at least not anymore. Not since she moved out of my house and back with her husband. Maybe it's me, maybe I am finally starting to think with the right head?

Jen asked me what 'Love' was, or what I thought it was. I didn't really know how to answer that. I just sat there stupified by Jen's question. I asked her to 'define' love, she couldn't. I asked her if I could google it, but I never even got out of my chair. I told her that I thought I knew what it was, but all the times that I thought I was in love I was crushed by the other person deciding that they had bigger and better things to move onto. She said that we both made a mistake by telling each other that we 'loved' each other when we first started going out. (I said it because she said it. What is a guy supposed to do when a woman asks "you love me?" Say no, and never get laid; or feel pressured by the situation and consequences and say yes?)

Watching a comedy show last night, the comedian announced that all women were whores. After some disgruntled shouts from the audience, he started to explain: He asked, "If the ladies in the audience were to have a surgery to have their vagina's removed, how would they keep their men?" Some shouted, "blow Jobs", and others remarked "in the ass". The comedian shouted; "That's what I thought, all whores!" then continued "Not a single one of you said, learn to play XBOX, or go to a football game, or learn about cars." Basically my question is; If you can't be treated and respected as a friend, how do you expect to be treated with respect in a relationship? I am at the age that sex is not my most important priority, although the generation of women, around 30 or above, seem to be ticking like time bombs and can't wait to pop a couple kids out before they explode into menopause. I also think that I give some sense of false impression; just because I like to cuddle, doesn't mean I want to pick out curtains and have you move in. I like to take things slow and ease into a situation instead of being thrusted into it, which feels like jumping into traffic.

I don't really know what I am trying to say, just trying to get some thoughts out. I still haven't heard from Tara (in Florida) lately, I am concerned about her massage therapy final, I hope everything went ok.