Lots of drama over the weekend.

One of our friends, (Rick) is getting married soon, so we had a little Bachelor Party Saturday night. The fellas: Rick, Gideon, Preston, Kenny, Brian, Kaden, Jon, and I; all rented a hotel room and attended a strip club (all nude) in South Carolina. Now before any of this happened, last week the shit hit the fan and I didn’t even know it.
Turns out that Rick (The guy that is getting married next week) was speaking with one of his friends over the Instant Messenger about Gideon’s long-time girlfriend; about some really graphic stuff like them going out in high school (which is a lie) and how he would like to suck on those big boobs, not to mention some of the more graphic things he said. For some reason he left the house, and left the IM window open. Mel (Rick’s girlfriend and fiancé) came home with the girls (Carolyn [Jon’s wife] & Crystal [Gideon’s long time girlfriend]) and saw what Rick was writing about Crystal. Mel even was able to print out a transcript about the conversation and they all sat there reading it word for word. Mel, probably feeling embarrassed and used, told the other two girls to keep it a secret. So Carolyn and Crystal lied for Mel for the last week about the situation, but eventually Jon and Gideon started to figure out that something was up. Jon grilled Carolyn, and she sung like a little birdie. Jon was infuriated and was thinking of taking Rick out himself, but decided to take a more civilized approach. So once the word was out, it spread quickly between the other friends in our group. So we were on the way to the Hotel on Saturday night when I was told all of this; we later picked up Gideon, and let him know what was going on. On the way over there, we all planned on how we were going to get the truth out of Rick. We all agreed that if he wasn’t going to be honest about it and at least admit it, he should be out friend and would not be welcomed by the ‘group’. We all played it cool, like we didn’t know, but didn’t get a chance to test the waters to see if he was going to own up to it. Unfortunately, the night ended (around 7am) without any resolution on the subject, so I am curious to know how exactly this all is going to pan out. I will have to check back with them in a few days to see how that turns out.

Kaden (Carolyn’s little 18 year old brother) had never been to a strip club before, so it was an interesting experience to see. The club was about the size of a Cracker Jack box, and the stage took up half of the room. The lighting was horrible, too many black lights and not enough normal lighting, and the place over all was very scummy. It had a nice mix of girls, black and white mainly, but only two were really worth looking at. We all pooled out money together ($45) to get Kaden a nude dance, and we made sure to pick the girl with the most tattoos and piercing so we could be rest assured that it would be something that he would never forget. She came over, grabbed him, and they were off to the VIP room. When he came back, he was speechless. He was fumbling over chairs and running into people. It was pretty funny, and we all had a laugh about his facial expression, and he said that she did things that he didn’t even expect, so I made sure I slipped her a few extra bucks as we were leaving just to say thanks.

I have been thinking about Jenny lately. I got some quality time with Carolyn and Crystal, they were telling me a little back ground on what the girls have talked about in the past. It’s difficult for me to understand why I can’t stop thinking about Jenny. I have tried to keep my distance from her, tried not to talk to her unless absolutely possible, but that doesn’t seem to get her out of my thoughts. I don’t know if it’s just because I long for someone’s touch, or that I just need to know deep down that someone is there for me. I do know that it is very unusual to find someone that has unquestionable love for you, and I don’t know if I am making a mistake by keeping my distance. I know that their have been times between her and I that I adore and have never felt so connected with a person, but I still hurt inside from the time that she decided to go back to Ben (her husband). I understand that if I was in that position, I would have wanted to make sure that I was not making a mistake, but I would have gone about it a little differently; although I guess that’s what you get from experience. I think the only was that I can truly have my feeling trust her, is if Ben is completely out of the picture. I am willing to give it another chance and try again, but not if she is still married. She needs to work through that on her own; I need to make sure that it is something that she truly wants to do for herself, and not for someone else. I don’t know if I should talk to her, I don’t know if we should cuddle (though I want to badly). I don’t know if we should have sex, even though I know her getting pregnant would destroy the lie that she has not been cheating on Ben, but it is SO good. Things that I didn’t think were possible, or didn’t even know I could do, we have accomplished. I just don’t know, the future is so hazy. What to do...What to do...